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NOAA captures giant squid off the Lousiana coast

The giant squid is an "eat the crew, ask questions later" kind of cephalopod


The National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration just revealed that it has captured a 20 foot giant squid off the Gulf of Mexico--the first since the 1950's. Slate Magazine now warns that Kirk Douglas might want to watch his back.

From the NOAA website

This giant squid was collected during a 60-day scientific study where scientists from NOAA’s Southeast Fisheries Science Center and the Department of the Interior’s Minerals Management Service were studying the availability and diversity of sperm whale prey. The scientists were aboard the NOAA research vessel Gordon Gunter when the squid was caught in a trawl pulled behind the research vessel at a depth of more than 1,500 feet.

"As the trawl net rose out of the water, I could see that we had something big in there…really big,” said Anthony Martinez, marine mammal scientist for NOAA's Fisheries Service and chief scientist for this research cruise. "We knew there was a remote possibility of encountering a giant squid on this cruise, but it was not something we were realistically expecting.”



The unusual find has sparked wide interest and even spawned an op ed on Slate Magazine:

The giant squid hates everything: It hates Kirk Douglas, it hates the crew of the Pequod, and it especially hates scientists who make it look stupid. If man is to live in harmony with nature we must respect nature's needs, and the needs of the giant squid are simple:

a) three (3) metric tons of small fish per week, or one (1) sperm whale;

b) if giant squid is to make more than two appearances in one day, giant squid must be supplied with a rest area equipped with Bose sound system and six large, clean towels;

c) no flash photography.

We have violated our contract with the giant squid. Will any of us ever feel safe in the water again?


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Religous Apocalypse for Kids: Cthulhu vs. God in Nintendo's Scribblenauts

There are those who fear and despise technology. And with the horrific shadows of terrifying inventions like the nuclear bomb, mustard gas, and reality television perpetually looming over humanity, who can blame them?

However, the fruits of technology are also enticing, and few are as sweet as the fact that Nintendo has finally brought about the ability for small children to experience a Cthulhu-inspired theistic apocalypse.



Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment has just released the game Scribblenauts for the Nintendo DS gaming system. Players solve puzzles and defeat foes by typing in words that come alive on the screen.

Watch Cthulhu challenge god in a blasphemous battle for cosmic supremacy in the clip below, and then go buy it for your small children.


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Mystery sea creature discovered in Panama

Everyone has a vice--something you try to keep unsuccessfully from your friends. Ours here at the LNN is a preternatural hunger towards the field of oceanic cryptozoology, and we are always on the prowl for a new fix.



A bizarre image has surfaced from the shores of Panama raising new questions: Is is a sloth, a fetus of some large animal, the twisted result of some evil eugenics project by a mad scientist, an undiscovered species, or a hoax?



Watch a doe-eyed CNN anchor stammer through a confused analysis of this strange beast


From the Daily Telegraph
"The beast's hairless, rubbery body and revolting features have drawn comparisons with the Montauk Monster, the still-unidentified animal photographed on a New York beach last year.

According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City.

They returned later to take pictures of the corpse which were then posted on the website of the Central American country's Telemetro television station. . . "

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The LNN interviews Joseph Scrimshaw from SpookySpookyScaryScary

"We are like girl scouts, but instead of selling cookies, we sell insanity. And we sell it for free."

Joseph Scrimshaw and Tim Uren star as inept cultists in SpookySpookyScaryScary

Joseph Scrimshaw is a critically acclaimed actor, an internationally produced playwright, and an independent theater director/producer. His current project with Tim Uren is the upcoming DVD entitled SpookySpookyScaryScary featuring the misadventures of two cultists named Chuck & Dexter. Mr. Scrimshaw was kind enough to stop by the LNN and tell us a bit about the film, which is set to screen at the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival next month.
LNN: How would you describe the basic premise of your film?

JS: It's about the relationship between Chuck and Dexter--two socially awkward Lovecraft fans who convince themselves that Cthulhu actually exists and set out to form a cult and let people know the "bad word" about Cthulhu.

LNN: Is a working knowledge of Lovecaftiana required to appreciate the humor in the film?

JS: Nope. It certainly enhances it quite a bit and there are some subtler jokes that will warm the cockles of Lovecraft fans, but we set out to do a comedy that would be steeped in Cthulhu-ness but still accessible to the masses. Basically, since the film deals with Chuck and Dexter's attempts to draw other people into their Cthulhu world there was a lot of room for their twisted exposition about who Cthulhu and Lovecraft are and what they are about--so it's funny to non-Lovecraftians to get the tip of the iceberg explanation and funny to Lovecraft afficiandos to hear this complex mythology boiled down into super simple and not entirely accurate rants.

LNN: Most of the people we interview have rather pedestrian jobs and their creative, Lovecaftian output is a mere hobby. (Though perhaps "mere" is the wrong word) You, on the other hand, are a veteran actor and playwright with such titles as "Die, Clowns, Die!," "Fat Man Crying," and "Adventures in Mating" to your credit. Was SpookySpookyScaryScary really that much of a stretch for you?

JS: Doing this large of a film project was definitely a departure, since both Tim Uren and I have done much more work in theater and improv comedy, but no spending all day dressed up in weird costumes or making to do lists that include "memorize lines, practice screaming, and wipe the fake blood off the knife" is the kind of thing I do most days. By day, Mr. Uren works at Fantasy Flight Games often tinkering with Lovecraftian projects like Arkham Horror, so all pretty familiar territory for him as well.

LNN: Besides your humorous projects, you have been involved in numerous serious works as well. How does your experience in Shakespearian theater translate to playing a cultist?

JS: Most Shakespearean characters are either obsessive egomaniacs or socially awkward idiots. And that's pretty much my character in a nutshell. Also, even though the film is a bizarre, outlandish comedy--a lot of the humor comes from the relationships, so it was important to treat it with a lot of actor-ly care--finding the motivation, the right emotional note--all the things actors do all the time. Or should be doing all the time.

One of Joseph Scrimshaw's many original projects: a "Family Friendly Morality Tale": An Inconvenient Squirrel

LNN: Who is your target demographic for this project?

JS: Primarily, Lovecraft fans and the larger geek community in general. We know we already have a connection with those audiences so our hope is to start there and then take advantage of the overlap between those communities and the general independent film community and spread it out to our widest possible demographic: anyone with a good sense of humor and a few bucks to buy our DVD.

LNN: If religion is the opitate of the masses, and the internet is its methamphetamine, why on earth have you not posted your preview trailer on Youtube yet?

JS: Does that make youtube like the straight shot of Jameson's of the masses? I ask because I'm drinking Jameson's and watching our short trailer on youtube right now at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oASJCozH8Uc

We're also working on getting the full trailer on youtube, but for now it's available at: http://spookyspookyscaryscary.com

LNN: Tell us about Tim Uren: how did you two get this project started, and what does he bring to the table?

JS: Tim and I have been pals and comedy collaborators for many years.
We plotted out the story together and thanks to the amount of time we've worked together, it takes less rehearsal time to get nice little nuances of relationship across in individual scenes.

We developed the characters of Chuck and Dexter for a couple of short films we made with another production company in 2004 and 2005. We wanted to expand the characters and their world so we were looking for a technical crew who might want to tackle that project. Some friends of ours had formed a production company after working on another independent film called THAC0 and their experience, equipment, and availability matched ours so we all tackled it together. If you know what I mean.

LNN: While looking through your authorial blog I noticed a recurring motif featuring whiskey and the Wii. Were either of these essential items involved in the production of this project?

JS:Yes. We actually wanted to film Chuck and Dexter playing "Eternal Darkness" on the gamecube but we were worried about copyright issues.

The official Youtube teaser trailer for SpookySpookyScaryScary

LNN: What are you plans post HPLFF?

JS: For now, we're going to work on marketing "SpookySpookyScaryScary". It'll be available for sale on ye olde internet and we'll look into sending it off to other film festivals. But Chuck and Dexter might return down the road.

Beyond that, Tim and I are onstage either together or separately pretty much all of the time that we are not drinking whiskey and playing Wii.

LNN: What do people get when they actually send in their email as the film requests? Does it involve anything that will require confession at the hands of an ordained priest?

JS: We're waiting to see what kind of responses we get and if anything goes wrong, Tim has one of those minister licenses you get out of the back of Rolling Stone magazine. That's as close to a priest as we can provide.

LNN: Is there, or are their plans for some place people can go to view or purchase the film online?

JS: There will be trailers and hopefully other digital treats available on my production company's web-site (which will be launching in early October) at jokingenvelope.com. So the DVDs will be available for purchase off that site as well as http://spookyspookyscaryscary.com.

That's the plan--hopefully, the stars will be all right.

LNN: Anythings else you want to add?

JS: Thanks so much for your interest and we hope to see you all at the Film Festival. Feel free to talk to Tim or I--we have much better social skills than our characters!

Thanks, Joseph, and best wishes at the festival!

Learn More:

-Check out the homepage for SpookySpookyScaryScary
-View a second trailer for the DVD hosted here: http://thestarsareallright.com
-Learn more about Joseph Scrimshaw and his other projects at his website here: http://josephscrimshaw.com/

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LNN interviews Ben H. Winters: author of Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters


Ben H. Winters is a newcomer to world of H.P. Lovecraft, yet he is already poised to go where few Lovecraftians have gone before: the New York Times bestseller's list!

We knew we were in a for a treat when we saw on his website that the "H" stands for "hydrophiliac hellspawn."

In a brilliant move of intellectual adroitness, Mr. Winter's new novel Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters brings everyone's favorite Cynical Materialist to the masses in a book by Quirk Press unleashed today to the unsuspecting world of Jane Austen book clubs.

Mr. Winters has written plays, books for children, and the popular Worst Case Survival Handbooks. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and daughter, and he was kind enough to offer us here at the LNN an exclusive interview to coincide with the release of his novel.





LNN: You have a highly diverse resume of authorship, including children's musicals and how-to books. However, none that I could find have yet involved tentacled monstrosities. Do you think this project will alter the way that you are perceived as an author?

Winters: Inevitably. I think when a guy puts out a book with such a memorable theme (and cover!) it's going to be talked about, and remembered. Which is all to the good, as far as I'm concerned; if when I die, my tombstone reads, "He added a walking jellyfish to Sense and Sensibility", mine shall be a happy spirit.

LNN: As an English major yourself who presumably knew and respected Austen's original text long before SSSM, in your opinion, is there a line between the blasphemic desecration of a beloved classic and the loving parody of it? Where do you fall on this spectrum, and what do you have to say to the Austen purists who would criticize the project as uncouth?

Winters: Uncouth, perhaps -- desecration, never! I adore the original, as any right-thinking person does, and believe very firmly that having a bit of fun with a beloved masterpiece only reminds us of why it's a masterpiece in the first place.

LNN: How familiar were you with Lovecraft before this project, and what specifically did you do to research and thus facilitate channeling him for SSSM? Did it involve the viewing of any Stuart Gordon films?

Winters: I was passingly familiar, and I will say that immersing myself in the weird tales in preparation to write this thing was one of the great pleasures the project afforded me. I have some family members (hi, Aunt Ann!) who are Lovecraft afficianadoes, and I now proudly place myself in their ranks.

LNN: Lovecraft read and briefly wrote about Austen in his treatise "Supernatural Horror in Literature." Here he claimed that "Northanger Abbey was by no means an unmerited rebuke to a school which had sunk far toward absurdity." Is your novel also a rebuke of today's surfeited culture of superficial, pop horror?

Winters: First of all, thank you for bringing that essay to my attention -- I joked on my Facebook page that Lovecraft took Austen to the junior prom, but didn't realize he had actually engaged with her work.

I guess I've leave it to others to decide if my novel is a rebuke to today's pop-shlock horror culture, or a part of it. Or maybe both.

LNN: By conflating Lovecraft and Austen, you will inevitably introduce his fiction to an audience that likely would never have otherwise encountered him. What advice do you have for those with--shall we say--more tender sensibilities in order to successfully navigate these new more hostile waters of literature? (And by hostile I mean both literally filled with bloodthirsty, giant, mutant lobsters and intellectually via the ideological medium of cosmic horror)

Winters: Oh, I hope you're right about introducing readers to Lovecraft. I keep saying in interviews how I hope this book turns non-Austen fans into Austen fans, and I would love it if it does the same for non-Lovecraft fans. My advice would be the same as my advice for all readers, of all things, at all times: Read every book with an open mind and with as few preconceptions as possible. Few people expect to find the humor in Austen, or the clever narrative devices in Mary Shelley, or the profound (and profoundly unsettling) insights into the nature of existence in Lovecraft.



LNN: How did you hook up with Quirk Books and what kind of pitch did you have to give to sign onto a project like this? Did it involve a practical test in chanting or any occult rituals?

Winters: I've known the mad geniuses at Quirk for years; through a marvelous cosmic coincidence, my wife and I lived across the street from their Philadelphia offices the one year we lived in that city.

I do occult rituals only when I'm waiting for reviews to come out.

LNN:Tell us about the style, content, and motive behind the illustrations your book contains.

Winters: The interior illustrations are by a guy named Eugene Smith, and I think they brilliantly evoke the kind you find in those old-school, leather bound editions of classics; I'm so tickled to see the weird, warped stuff I came up with made to look so refined. He also did a map for the frontispiece, just as you might see in some old adventure story. I adore these touches, and I love that the publisher took the time and resources to make the book look so classy. The cover painting is by Lars Leetrau, and I am absolutely in love with it; it perfectly evokes the high-minded/bizarre tone of the book, and (obviously) shows off that Lovecraft influence!

LNN: What does your immediate family think of SSSM? Do you get funny looks now when you attend a family reunion, and if you have children, what do they think?

Winters: My wife likes it, and has not (as yet) requested separate bedchambers, so I think she does not fear for my sanity. My kids are not old enough for this one, and won't be for many years to come -- although my daughter (age three) has somehow decided that that's me on the cover, and says "Daddy has an octopus face!" Ah, well -- writing is a risky career.


In case you missed it, check out the book trailer

LNN: What other projects are on the horizon for you?

Winters: A children's musical, based on the book Uncle Pirate. More books in the Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide series, also from Quirk. And next year my young adult novel, The Secret Life of Ms. Finkleman, will be published by HarperCollins. No cosmic horror in that one, but then again, it's for seventh and eighth graders.

LNN: Anything else you would like to put on the record?

Winters: Thanks for the opportunity to share a bit about my process with your community. My experience has been that Lovecraft fans have vigorous imaginations and great senses of humor (hi again, Aunt Ann!), so I hope you all like it.

Buy Mr. Winter's book on Amazon here

Or read about his writing process first hand from an article on Slate here

For a good laugh also check out this lugubriously serious blog called Jane Austen Today that asks, "has Quirk Classics gone too far?" We assume the question is rhetorical.

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LNN interviews acclaimed author W.H. Pugmire

"Lovecraft is a disease that I want to share." -WHP

The internet is abuzz with the excited chatter of fans gearing up for the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival in October. None of these are more colorful than author Wilum Hopfrog Pugmire, whom we recently had the pleasure of corresponding with.

Mr. Pugmire holding a copy of Weird Tales featuring one of his stories

Mr. Pugmire has recently turned his creative output towards a prolific Youtube channel in which he analyzes popular culture and seeks to help promote the upcoming HPL Film Festival. We asked him a few questions about his life, his work, and the festival. He was generous enough to respond to us with a multi-segmented video interview.

For three decades, Mr. Pugmire's Lovecraftian fiction and poetry has appeared in numerous horror anthologies and in Weird Tales Magazine. He has also published collections of his work in volumes such as Sesqua Valley and Other Haunts and The Fungal Stain and Other Dreams.

For those unfamiliar with Mr. Pugmire's vivid persona, the interview may initially come as somewhat of a shock, but this, we think, makes it all the more appealing, and we are thrilled for his candidness.

Sit back and enjoy a wholly unique interview from a Lovecraft veteran.


















To learn more about W.H. Pugmire, check out another great interview with him here

or purchase his books on Amazon through this link

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4 days until Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters

From the publishers that brought the world the international bestseller Pride and Prejudice and Zombies comes another twist on a beloved classic. Brooklyn's Ben H. Winter's new novel is entitled Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, and it hits shelves in four days finally asking the question we have all been pondering for years:

"What if (H.P.) Lovecraft and Austen sat down and wrote a book together — it’s just preposterous, but what would happen?"



From the book description on Amazon.com:

From the publisher of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies comes a new tale of romance, heartbreak, and tentacled mayhem. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters expands the original text of the beloved Jane Austen novel with all-new scenes of giant lobsters, rampaging octopi, two-headed sea serpents, and other biological monstrosities. As our story opens, the Dashwood sisters are evicted from their childhood home and sent to live on a mysterious island full of savage creatures and dark secrets. While sensible Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, her romantic sister Marianne is courted by both the handsome Willoughby and the hideous man-monster Colonel Brandon. Can the Dashwood sisters triumph over meddlesome matriarchs and unscrupulous rogues to find true love? Or will they fall prey to the tentacles that are forever snapping at their heels? This masterful portrait of Regency England blends Jane Austen’s biting social commentary with ultraviolent depictions of sea monsters biting. It’s survival of the fittest—and only the swiftest swimmers will find true love!

Yes, it's for real. No, you haven't died and gone to heaven. Yes, we also wish we had thought of this first.

In an interview (which you can read here) Winters explains how he strove to incorporate a Lovecrafitian vocabulary into Austen's world with spectacular results.

“I’m a big believer in actually picking up a thesaurus rather than using Thesaurus.com or online reference sources,” he said. “I find the experience, as a writer, of digging up words in the old books is so satisfying. For example, what word would Austen have used to describe the layer of gooey flesh on the underside of a man-eating snail?” After digging around, he found “mucocutaneous.”

Mr. Winters, you sir, are a hero.



Preorder the book here: http://www.amazon.com/Sense-Sensibility-Monsters-Jane-Austen/dp/1594744424

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